The answer is yes... and no.
I spent a few months deep in research on parenting and, of everything, parenting myths fascinated me. One fundamental myth I see and hear regularly is this - parents can shape their kids into successful adults. I catch myself making parenting decisions based on this idea, thinking:
She must do all her homework...
I should make sure she learns - math well/to code/play piano/to balance many activities at once
I have to teach her to eat well...
Each statement has an unspoken or else:
She'll fall behind and not go to a 'good' college
Other students will out perform her and get all the awards/good grade/future successes
She'll be an unhealthy adult
In truth, while we know that parents do influence their children, we can't actually control what "sticks" and what just bounces off. Families with two or more children see this... what works with one child can be a disaster for another.
While I'm not suggesting that parents simply give up and let kids do as they like, I do argue that parenting to create a specific future adult will probably not have the intended outcome.
Curious for more - check out the Slate article below-